March 2018 M T W T F S S « Apr 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
To journal or to Facebook that is the question.
On FB I tell “stories” or give my “emotional weather reports” through pictures , news links or sometimes YouTube clips.
The thing of it is- I’m a writer. I’m suppose to write about those things.
It’s been great, I’ve been writing again and dreaming and sometimes when I laugh I really, really mean it.
The dark doesn’t bother me, the things in it don’t bother me and when things go bump in the night I feel like I just found a million dollars on the sidewalk.
So yesterday at dinner a friend asked me what a dead body feels like.
I told her and as I did I was eating my cheesecake.
It was the best tasting cheesecake I ever had.
I remember taking walks on nights when the world was frozen.
The streets and the lawns were covered with snow and ice and the sky was gray, dark lovely.
Stories would pop into my head one by one, memories, images, pieces of music I hadn’t thought of recently if not for years.
My skin would tingle, my blood would sing and the stillness and the quiet would wrap its arms around me.
I used to think those nights were lonely ones, how nice it would have been to share those moments.
Looking back on it now, I can see I was part of that world around me, frozen as it was- I see now there was warmth in it, creativity, light.
It wasn’t such a dark and frozen world after all.
Where do you go to get your ideas?
Do you go to a large dark room where paint is peeling of the walls and the ceiling and broken glass carpets the floor and faded red curtains hang in an empty window frame?
Do you stand just inside the door and think “what if”?
And when you turn and walk out, no when you back out of that room –
why do you lock that door?